I wrote some words (maybe to make me feel better, but hopefully to encourage our daughter) -
Your departure makes it undeniably clear that you are no longer a little girl, my little meisje, who lived in a protective bubble of family and community, as safe as possible under the watchful eyes of your mom and me. Although I briefly fantasised about it, they don’t seem to allow parents to be your college roommates. You are off on your own. Although we will undoubtedly connect regularly – texting, Facebook, Skype and maybe even that old way - the telephone – mum and I will no longer have front row seats on your journey; from this day forward, we learn about you from you.
Reading it back, it feels almost like abandonment, a place where you just feel like people have left you, even God seemed distance and strangely quiet. It was as if the end of the worlds had happened and all you care for seemed to have gone, even though my son and my wife are still here, friends still live nearby .. a strange bag of mixed emotions.
In the midst of all this, I came across this photo .. a totally abandoned place .. but a place of beauty, a place of growth, a place of life.
It reminded me that wanting to hold on to what used to be, to want to stay close to people I invested in, would only be detrimental to them as they are ready to move on. I need to allow this new growth to happen and see myself grow in a new and maybe different direction too.
There can be Beauty in Abandonment.