Lessons from the Thick Darkness ...

No doubt you know exactly what I am writing about when I say: "I had one of them days". Actually, it was one of them weekends. People needed me, they were asking me questions, I had no idea on how to answer ... yet I so knew they needed something, a glimpse of hope in their dark times, I felt powerless and after the third request for help, which I could not provide, I even started feeling useless, and to quote Enid Blyton - down the slippery slope I went, landing in a dark place. One of them places where one can feel the darkness ... where darkness becomes tangible and heavy and really dark. No doubt you've been there too.

Our church also kicked off a new season of 24/7 and I had once again chosen the midnight slot. You can probably guess that when you're in that heavy, uncomfortable, dark place, the last thing you want to do is go in a shed to pray. As I was there I sat ... and waited ... and switched of all the lights, to almost become one with the darkness I felt inside ... so, Come on Lord ... speak. NOTHING !

God in the thick darkness as drawn in the Prayer Shed

After switching the lights back on I decided to use the concordance (a big book with major words in alphabetical order and where to find them in the bible) to see what the bible had to say about darkness ... and that's where my eyes were opened (you probably already knew what I'm about to share, but for me it was fantastic). I've always been aware that God is everywhere, all the time. But although I knew it ... I didn't really know it. In my search on the word darkness, I came across Exodus 20:21 - The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was. Did it strike you, like it struck me? ... God, who in Jesus is the Light of the world, was in the the thick darkness. I hope you're getting as excited about this as I was. God is in my thickest darkness. 

Jewish tradition has it that Moses was drawn/led into the darkness - to meet God Almighty. The people remained at a distance ... that is so often me, especially when there is thunder and lighting and scary stuff going on, I'll (try and) hide away ... but God invites me to go into the thick darkness, where He already is ... I can not write down how this is making me feel, I just hope you discover it for yourself, the lesson from the thick darkness.

Lessons from a raindrop

"Everybody wants happiness

nobody wants the pain

but there will not be a rainbow

without a little rain".

As the rain is lashing against my window today, and the grey sky is making the world look all gloomy, I followed one of them little watery drops gliding down the window. Moving ever so slowly down the big expanse of the glassy window, almost in a most random motion, yet with a purpose. The watery sphere does not seem too bothered with any of the dirt it encounters, or any of the other little drops around it, it just is and it just moves. 

It travelled many miles, from clouds up above, to earth down below, and still it keeps on going ... and I am mesmerised by the little wet blob on my window. Translucent in colour, yet suddenly, with the help of a ray of light I see all the colours it hides, bright rainbow like colours, it's all there.

It makes me think of myself. So often people see me as a most colourful person, bringing brightness wherever I travel, bringing joy, spreading colour, for I am yellows and reds and blues and greens ... but sometimes, every so often, I am a dull grey and not to many people like grey, the hide away from the spectrum of grey, and I feel alone in my greyness ... all I need is a little beam to shine through me, to show the world the colours that are still there, in the 'overcastness' of the moment, I am still full of yellows and reds and blues and greens. Just shine your light, so I can reveal it to you, do not hide away from the grey in me (or others) but shine, so we can shine, so we can colour the world with a rainbow.